Month: June 2009

Wrong Turn

“Frank, you nitwit,” his exasperated wife Millie exclaimed, “you took the wrong turn, now we’re hopelessly lost.” Frank slowed the big Caddy to a crawl as he tried to make out a street number, but was having no luck staring into the pitch dark. “Now what,” Millie groaned, “well, you’ve done it again, now we’re never going to make it to the reception on time, I told you to get directions, but no, you had to try it on your own, now look where we are.” “Oh, shut up, Millie,” Frank retorted, “don’t worry, once I get turned around and back on the main road I’ll stop at a service station and get some directions.” He pulled the nose of the big car into a dark alley and was just about to put it into reverse, when both doors were flung open and both of them were jerked out of the car and thrown to the ground. The two car jackers hopped into the Caddy and calmly drove off, leaving Frank and Millie stunned and dazed in the middle of the dark alley. “Are you all right, Mil,” Frank asked. “Oh, god” she moaned, “it feels like they ripped my arm out of its socket.” After helping her to her feet, Frank offered, “We gotta find a phone and call the police, let’s go.” Just as they were turning to head down the street, a sinister voice from the darkness said, “I don’t think you’ll be going anywhere for a while,” and seconds later, the middle aged white couple was surrounded by a group of young black toughs. “Ya know what,” one of them stated, “you’re in a lot of fucking trouble.”

Nurse Maid

“Where are we headed,” Angie asked, as Petra slipped her car into and pulled smoothly into traffic? “It’s a surprise,” Petra said with a gleam in her eye, “you’ll find out when we get there! “We’re no going to the stables again today,” Angie rejoined, “it’s too damn cold out side for riding a horse!” “Keep you tits in your bra , girl,” Petra replied, “we aren’t going horse back riding, but if I remember right, the last time we went, you had about a hundred orgasms!” “Oh, phooey on you,” Angie retorted, “I just don’t feel like freezing my ass off, that’s all!” “And it’s a very pretty ass, if I remember correctly,” said Petra with a laugh! “Ya know, Pete, you’re incorrigible,” Angie said with a shake of her head!

While they were riding along, Petra casually asked, “Remember after you had your first baby how nice it felt to be breast feeding!?!” “Uh, yeah,” Angie replied, “I remember it very well, but what does that have to do with anything!?!” “Well,” Petra went on slowly, “didn’t you ever wonder what it would be like to nurse on a big nipple yourself?!?” “Well, I guess so,” Angie answered, “Hank sure seemed to enjoy it, and so did I, but why do you ask!?!” Before Petra could reply, she pulled into a parking lot that sided a large Victorian mansion and replied, “We’re here!” “Where,” asked Angie, “I’ve never even seen this place before, what is it anyway?!?” “Stop asking so many questions,” her exasperated friend replied, “just follow me and be quiet!” “Okay, okay,” Angie said while throwing up her hands in mock surrender, “lead the way and I shall follow!